I OBSERVE the TT from a comfortable distance these days.
My time in the front line of race reporting is over.
All that remains – I hope – is my name engraved on a cut glass tankard on a shelf in the Press Centre at the TT Grandstand.
It was put there along with others bearing the names of old hacks who were unable to do the day’s work without something to hold the gallons of free drink that used to be provided by the race organisation.
What I do know of last week’s events is that Hutchy, previous multiple TT winner, didn’t do too well. The Bingley Bullet must have been a bit out of form.
Now, unless you are not up to what I must call speed with today’s TT coverage, I can explain that Ian Hutchinson comes from Bingley in Yorkshire and he is otherwise known as Hutchy.
Nicknames count for a lot these days.
For instance, that Master of the Mountain John McGuinness is called the Morecambe Missile. He is no relation to the Manx Missile.
The latter is the son of another Mr and Mrs Missile altogether.
There was also the late Steve Hislop, another Master of the Mountain, who had to endure being called Hissy.
Of course, the Isle of Man has its own riders with nicknames.
Conor Cummins is the Ramsey Rocket and Milky Quayle is so well-known as Milky that I couldn’t tell you what his real name is.
Then we have Moly who is not a lady but Dave Molyneux the sidecar specialist from Andreas.
I have been trying to think of a nickname for him. The Andreas . . . ?
No, I can’t do it.
In my day, which is a conversational opening gambit which leaves people crammed in the exit door, nicknames were rare.
One was endowed upon that other Master of the Mountain (I’m enjoying this), the rugged Yorkshireman Mick Grant who was at the Grandstand last week. He was known as Granty.
Otherwise there have been other entertainments.
Cricket followers will remember a commentator on BBC Radio saying: ‘The batsman’s Holding, the bowler’s Willey.’
The sidecar TT had its version of this last year with a crew called Holden and Winkle.
In fact the sidecars are fertile ground. This year Debbie Barron was the first woman sidecar driver to compete, as opposed to the many women passengers who have gone before.
On the Mandate programme on Manx Radio she was discussed by programme presenters James Davis and John (implausibly TT’d up to Johnny) Moss.
Mossy (our name for him) referred to her as a sidecar virgin. James said: ‘I’ll be coming on to her later.’
Finally, another Test cricket BBC commentary, when Ian Botham tried, unsuccessfully, to avoid trampling down his stumps and Jonathan Agnew said: ‘He just couldn’t quite get his leg over’ – sending Brian Johnston into a near death interlude of giggling.
TT riders are good at getting their legs over when pushing off at the start of the race, and at other times, as some ladies I know in the Isle of Man can testify.
• PETER Cooper tells me the Daily Telegraph Saturday magazine carried a tourism promotional feature by the Steam Packet and IoM Tourism, explaining the pleasures of cycling on Manx roads. It said: ‘Mountain bikers can compete in the annual End2End race every September, about 50 miles of peddling through stunning views.’
Flogging themselves up hill and down dale.
• THE Sky TV on-screen menu shortens programme names with interesting juxtapositions.
For instance, Gold offered: One Foot in the Porridge.