Domestic abuse support groups run by the recently launched charity Safe, Strong, Secure (3S) have started in Ramsey and Douglas.
The charity was formed by victims of abuse for victims of abuse and aims to help anyone who has been affected by any type of domestic abuse.
Tamasin Wedgwood said: ‘I am very pleased people who have already felt able to contact us have included male victims – I am very keen men understand this support is for them too.
‘Abuse affects one in four women, one in four teenagers and at least one in six men.
‘The figure for men may be higher than that because men are even less likely to report it than women.’
Tam, who came to the island to escape from an abuse situation, has herself benefitted from a support group: ‘I know how much my group helped me and I know how tough it was for me to get through, even with my group.
‘Until now there has been no similar support system for victims of abuse on the island and I just want others to have the kind of support that I had.’
At present, a morning support group takes place at the Alpha Centre, Broadway, Douglas, on Mondays from 10am to 11am. And a Ramsey group meets at the Sure Strike Bowling Alley from 8-9pm. They are led by Tam and Marcia Brabbs, another survivor.
In time, volunteers will start to lead groups and it is hoped groups will eventually meet across the island. It is free to attend, but there is a collection towards room hire.
Tam said support groups were somewhere where you will be believed and where people will understand: ‘No one will tell you to leave your abusive partner or in any other way tell you what you should do, but they will listen.’
She said they were about learning to be survivors: ‘We can’t change what has happened to us, but we can change how we react to it, and we can regain our self esteem.’
Groups are anonymous and confidential. The only time confidentiality may be broken is if the abuse is current and involves children.
The structure of the groups is flexible. Usually the format will be taking it in turns to say how our day or our week has gone. If someone doesn’t want to speak at all that is fine. They will also draw on 12-step programmes such as Al-Anon.
Posters and postcards about the groups are being made available at the probation service, police, social services and churches. Alternatively contact 3s@safestrongsecure.im or 383050.
Tam said if a call is not answered victims are advised to send a text including a phone number where it is safe for 3S to return their call: ‘Because we know the danger of some abuse situations 3S will not normally phone a victim back unless we know that doing so will not put the person at risk.’
