It was World Elder Abuse Day last Saturday and I have to apologise to my fellow elders of the Isle of Man for not being able to warn them in advance of this dire threat to their safety and well-being.
The news release announcing it which was sent to me was strictly embargoed until one o’clock on the Saturday morning itself when most of us elders would have been fast asleep in bed.
As a result those innocents who found themselves subjected to foul language and brutally attacked by masked thugs with baseball bats while out doing their shopping in downtown Douglas last Saturday have a right to feel aggrieved.
I stayed in bed myself.
The most alarming aspect of this situation is that the authorities world-wide who, as I have been warning for months, are planning a cull of old people who insist on increasing in numbers and threatening the survival of mankind by their obstinacy in staying alive, have now launched World Elder Abuse Day as a preliminary offensive.
The worst is still to come.
The giveaway is in the occasion’s full name which is World Elder Abuse Awareness Day.
It is alerting potential abusers to be aware of what is expected of them and it reports the progress being made so far by way of research into what success has been achieved so far.
Three countries are spotlighted – Mozambique, Peru and Kyrgzstan. In each a sample of 100 people was questioned and this revealed the percentage of old people who have been abused so far.
In every case the percentage is high but not high enough yet.
It was actually lowest in Kyrgyzstan, so much so that I would go and live there if I knew where the hell it is.
A terrifying aspect in Mozambique is that the abuse takes the form of accusing the elderly of witchcraft. If they spread this to the Isle of Man we will see innocent oldsters being rolled down Slieau Whuallian in spiked barrels again, like we used to.
In the event there are no research figures for the Isle of Man. They very likely couldn’t spell Slieau Whuallian.
But back to the contents of the news release. This has let slip the fact that World Elder Abuse Awareness Day is going to take place annually in future, always on January 15th.
I recommend everybody of a certain or even uncertain age to put that in their 2014 diaries and, as I did this year, stay in bed.
Otherwise there is an element of sheer Gothic horror to be observed. The release was sent out by a Mr Kulcsar which sounds bad enough.
His first name is Attila. Honest.
l John Kerruish in Peel tells me that the Examiner report of TT rider Hutchy Hutchinson being caught speeding on King Edward Road in Onchan said he was filmed by a ‘convert camera’ on a policeman’s motorbike.
The copper wasn’t driving a convertible then?
l John Garfield in Ramsey wonders why in TT Week he saw a road sign at Ballaugh saying ‘Fan Zone.’
A place not to watch the Senior TT?
l This week’s Manx crossword club from Karl Campbell is: Supply soldiers to isle in the Irish Sea (3) – MAN. (Christine’s Cryptic X-Word Collection).