FAITHFUL followers of these profoundly thoughtful reflections on the life and times of the Isle of Man in the early 21st century might now be remembering with shock and awe the accuracy of my forecast during this year’s Phoney Spring that we are in for the finest summer weather in living memory in 2013. It all started to come true in TT Week.
Go on, be fair. You who were here will be able to remind those of us who take flight from the TT just exactly what they missed, at great expense to themselves.
Yes I know those other weather forecasters at Ronaldway say it’s not going to be all that good during this week. But there is a reason for this.
I am in close consultation with the Manx Weather Gods and they say this is necessary for them to give their full attention to get things going properly in good time for July.
This sort of work takes planning and they have asked me to prepare the people of the Isle of Man for the exciting times still to come.
(We often curse the Manx Weather Gods. But they are a delightful couple. They call themselves Tate and Lyle. Isn’t that sweet?)
For one thing it will be great news for the new Manx shipping company, the Ellan Vannin Line.
They can expect their first season to be hugely successful as the hundreds of thousands of sun-seeking holidaymakers pour in to Douglas and Ramsey. We wish them well.
But let us hope that when they open their Ramsey office they take care not to be allocated the telephone number 81 1909.
Fortunately, the beach at Douglas is in good shape after its years of summer solitude. It will be thronged with sun-seekers again. But there could be problems here. Where are all the deck chairs which used to be stacked on the promenades? Did the corporation sell them all off to Benidorm?
(It doesn’t matter about the wind breaks they used to have. The winds blew themselves out during the Phoney Spring).
Otherwise, what about the rowing boats, the beach donkeys, the Felice’s ice cream kiosk at the bottom of Broadway and the yachting pool in the sunken gardens? The corporation will have to send out for more tram horses so that the service can go back to its old high frequency schedules.
Also, in these relaxed moral times, the sun will be hot enough for the corporation to recruit fruity girls as topless conductresses to collect the fares on the trams. That should put some bounce into the rate fund.
Just one proviso. If my forecast is wrong for this summer I will try it again in 2014. I’m bound to get it right eventually.
IN TT Week Manx Radio had an interview with an American journalist who was convinced that the TT could have enormous interest for television audiences in the United States. This reminded me of a man called Warwick Charlton, one of Britain’s most successful and imaginative publicists, who settled in the Isle of Man in the 1960s and took himself off to America to try to sell the TT to the productions companies. He told them:
‘It’s like Rollerball in Brigadoon.’
THIS week’s Manx crossword clue from Karl Campbell goes: Is lesson too long for Wight and Man? (5) – ISLES. (Christine’s Cryptic X-Word Collectioon).