We are now well into the run-up to September’s Isle of Man General Election...
No, let me re-phrase that please in the prevailing jargon of Manx election campaigning.
We are going forward to the Isle of Man’s General Election. We don’t say things like run-up or count-down any more. Going forward is the thing we say – time after time after time.
The other options available in the English language are languishing in the dust of politicospeak.
This matter came up for discussion the other evening when I was out on a pub crawl in Douglas with a group of crabs and I say pub crawl in the best sense of the word. You know how it is with crabs.They go, or crawl, sideways.
I can report that my friends were all pretty miffed at the use of the phrase ‘going forward’.
One of them said there should be a clause putting a stop to it under the legislation covering elections.
Or did he say claws? It was hard to tell.
But the essence of the matter was that these crabs felt ‘going forward’ was outright anti-shellfishism.
Just you try saying that after a pub crawl with a lot of crabs.
‘CHUCK’ in Castletown says the Examiner had a story about that troublesome diesel locomotive owned by Isle of Man Railways, saying it was: ‘Currently out of service awaiting repairs for a loose tyre problem.’
Chuck wonders what kind of loco it is that has tyre problems.
I don’t know. Let’s say it must be tired out.
THE crossword clue this week is reported by Andrew Crooks as follows: ‘It appeared in The Listener crossword published in The Times, allegedly the most difficult weekly cryptic crossword.
‘The solver was informed that two letters were to be removed from the clue before solving, the removed two letters forming part of an instruction for solving another clue: “Pony raced over aisle round centre of beach (3)”.
‘The letters to be removed were the ‘d’ of raced and the ‘a’ of aisle so the clue to be solved becomes “Pony race over isle round centre of beach (3)”.
‘Answer: Tat –TT round A, centre of beach literally, nothing to do with Cringle’s Rock. Chamber’s Dictionary gives a meaning for tat, or tattoo, as “native-bred Indian pony.”
Andrew tells me: ‘If you are short of copy for your Examiner column you may wish to take on the challenge of making this comprehensible to your readers.’
Let me make it comprehensible to me first Andrew.
COLIN Brown says he and his wife Margaret saw the following on a Douglas restaurant menu: ‘Freshly caught crab salad’.
As Colin says the menu did not specify where the salad was caught...
Perhaps it was cos they didn’t know.
ANDREW Kerr-Phillips says last week’s Examiner had the headline: ‘Move to alley fears over new antenna.’
As he adds: ‘Yes, nothing more worrying than walking down an alley to find an antenna in the way.’
Surely it would have signal of some kind on it.
THE Aberdeen Press and Journal reported: ‘Figures reveal a huge drop in people caught urinating in the street.’
Just the one?
FUNNIES File: Scottish booksellers Angus & Robertson once advertised a book called: ‘Scotland and Her Tartans’ telling potential buyers: ‘Look up your clan’s kilt and see where you came from.’
SIGNS: On a maternity room door: ‘Push, Push, Push.’