LAST week, in the sacred cause of warning us about conduct likely to kill us, some scientists at Cambridge University, as if it’s any of their business in the first place, have announced that office workers who don’t get some exercise every day risk premature death.
They say that instead of just sitting slaving away at our desks for hours on end we should get up now and again and have a bit of a walk elsewhere on the premises.
Fortunately I already do get up and walk somewhere and back on a regular basis. For instance, I often rise from the kneeler chair at my workplace at Manx Radio and walk the 25 paces – I will not trouble myself with metres and yards – to the main entrance reception area when I think I have a good reason to do so.
Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately when taken by and large, by the time I get to reception I’ve forgotten what I am doing there. The Lady Dementia, Greek Goddess of Forgetfulness, has struck again. This means I have to walk back to my desk which is the only way of remembering, as anybody will testify.
This, of course, is another 25 paces and, taken overall, 50 paces altogether. Now that’s not bad really even thought it was otherwise pointless.
But there is something else. I am the oldest of all the denizens of Broadcasting House but my desk is furthest away from the printer and whenever I print something I have to walk to it and back. This accounts for a regular return trip of something over 20 paces.
Every morning I make a resolution to keep a count of how many times in the working day I make this return trip. But at some stage I begin to lose track. I will have to make little notes in future.
There are also other essential trips I have do around Broadcasting House including going to the toilet a few times. This means I have no idea how much time I spend altogether walking around the building, going upstairs to where the recording studios are and downstairs to where the kitchen is.
The only rest I get is when I have work to do and I have to sit at my desk for a few hours and this means I am still risking premature death according to the boys in the white coats.
I think the only one way to win is stop reading about the things those people at Cambridge University are doing. They only make me worry.
And that’s not good for me either.
A SHORT time ago I went to the Palace Hotel to meet some visiting friends from across the water and left my car in the car park. When I met my friends in the bar Dorothy asked me if I had paid my parking fee. I told her I didn’t know I should have done so she went outside and got me a ticket from a pay-and-display machine which I hadn’t noticed. It cost £1. Dorothy told me that if she had not put it on my windscreen the car would have been clamped.
The concept of paying to park in a hotel car park was new to me. What was even newer was that Dorothy told me she and Eddie had to pay £3 a day to park their car there.
After meeting my friends I got into my car and left. I am still wondering whether I should have paid the Palace Hotel to let me out again.
THIS week’s crossword clue has been sent in by Sylvia Lawrinson. It was in The Times quick cryptic as follows: ‘Reporter’s novel’s set on isle (7).’
JOHN Kerruish says he heard Jon Joughin, who is standing for re-election to the House of Keys, being interviewed on Manx Radio and when asked about the consequences of the UK leaving the EU he said: ‘This Britax business is bad news . . .’
Yes, he meant Brexit. Britax is the name of a company which manufactures car accessories.
Fasten your seatbelt, Jon.
LAST week on BBC Radio 4 there was a daily programme called ‘Van Gogh’s Ear.’ Every time it was announced l wanted to say:
‘Is he? We’d better let him come in.’
Crossword: NEWSMAN.