This week, Isle of Man Friends of the Earth secretary Cat Turner reflects on a Christmas with a difference.
This Christmas was a slightly different one for us at Rhencullen House: even less money about than usual. ‘And how can THAT be possible?’, squawk those long-suffering friends who’ve put up with my low-carbon (for which read pennypinching) ways in the past year or so….well, mostly it’s a case of ‘planned poverty’.
I’ve just resigned my comfy job in the finance sector, to go freelance and focus on writing about things closer to my heart.
So, having a fair idea what that might mean (instant penury, followed with luck by a gradual climb into relative comfort) it seemed foolish to indulge in the traditional all-out splurge.
Plus, I’m a big fan of ‘unconsumption’ – the movement aimed at encouraging us all to stop making, buying and then trashing ever more stuff and in the course of it, polluting the earth and using up its diminishing resources.
But what do you get for the child who wants everything?
Surprisingly, ‘not much’ wasn’t as big a disaster as you might think. Catherine and Lizzie are fortunate in having a pack of godfathers, godmothers, god-buddies and god-knows-who-else, who furnished them with a few of life’s real essentials.
These included a pogo stick and a hairdressing doll so Christmas morning still began with a happy interlude of unwrapping.
And our lovely friend Sam made up stockings of cheap but thoughtful mini-trinkets for the girls to find on their beds on the day (thanks Santa-Sam, we love you!).
What I really wanted to see, though, was whether we could manage to have a lovely, festive holiday here at Rhencullen House – whilst not at the same time trashing both the planet and my threadbare wallet.
Here’s what I learned:
1. Prioritise, and appreciate the choosing.
Whenever the girls went into a frenzy of shrieking ‘I want that’ at the TV, we had a brief and initially unedifying conversation about the merits of choosing ONE THING only…this was hard for them, because cleverer minds than mine are hell-bent on convincing them that life’s unliveable without more bright plastic toys.
Not for nothing do the big manufacturers hire child psychologists to help them create feelings of ‘need’ in your child!
So of course, that ‘one essential thing’ changed at every ad break. But then something surprising happened. Lizzie decided, without prompting, to make a list of all those ‘essential items’ she’d spotted.
Her sister joined her in this little project.
The lists grew long, but after a few days and a lot of debate, they were each able to isolate their ‘favouritest favourite’ and stick with it. So I learned that with not much help, youngsters can work out for themselves how to prioritise, choose what few items they’d most appreciate, and even better – really enjoy the process.
Lizzie even noticed out loud that she was a lucky girl to be in a position to choose (‘I like choosing, it’s like shopping without going out and getting cold’).
2. Think hard about others, and enjoy trying to delight them.
A week or so before Christmas, Catherine informed me that there were ‘insufficient’ presents under the tree (she actually used that word: she’s six. Darn education!).
So we sat down together and chatted about what we’d each most like to be given by each other, if we couldn’t have ‘things’.
Catherine knew that Lizzie loves stories, so with a little help, she made her a ‘voucher’ for one story of Lizzie’s choice, to be told to her by Catherine at a time of her choosing.
Lizzie knows that Catherine covets her best blue dress, so Lizzie made a voucher to give her first choice of wearing it, at the next party they get invited to.
They went into a bit of a huddle over what to give me, and made me wait till Christmas Day to find out what they’d bestowed. I was blown away by it – from Catherine I got a voucher for a hug ‘for when you next need it, like when you’re tired and shouty’ (oops…..).
And Lizzie made me a drawing, which turned out to be a promise of breakfast made by her, ‘because you live on our leftovers’.
As do lots of single mothers, I guess… anyway, it was a thoughtful and loving gift and I’m looking forward to it!
So what was the upshot of all that? In pursuit of a greener, more meaningful Christmas this year I got taught a few good lessons by my girls. I learned that:
•You can help the planet and cut your carbon footprint, by refusing to submerge yourself in yet more pointless stuff (though a little stuff, well-chosen, is nice).
•You can save some money by choosing kind thoughts over cash;
•But most of all, you can rediscover the simple pleasure of giving, and being given, what everyone really wants: the gift of being known, thought about and understood.
The gift of being appreciated and loved.