Like a good citizen I went to the income tax division at Government Office last week to pay my annual tax bill. It set me back £1,304.31 which I could ill afford.
I made a point of asking the girl behind the counter if the Treasury Minister, Mr Teare, was on the premises. I urgently needed to ask him if he would remember to send me the change, if there was any.
I didn’t want him to spend all of it now that he was loaded again. But he wasn’t there.
At first I had the kindly thought that he might have been on holiday somewhere in the sunshine and was having a nice time with all the loot he had brought with him. But no. I needed to think about that again.
If you were doing so Eddie I would keep quiet about it if I were you. People might talk.
He might also like to know that in the queue with the rest of us waiting to pay up was a former treasury minister, none other than Mr David Cannan. I was surprised to see him there. Somehow I couldn’t imagine that treasury ministers past or present had to pay any income tax at all, ever.
I did question Mr Cannan about this but all he did was wish me a Happy New Year and change the subject.
THIS is a hand-crafted 85th birthday card I was sent by Peter Hearsey, Isle of Man-based internationally known automotive artist, especially for American customers. He paints portraits of their cars for them. We see my Mini One convertible outside Isle of Man Newspapers’ offices with my fans – or creditors – waiting for me.
It is an original work by Mr Hearsey. I am awaiting offers for it Pete.
THIS week’s crossword clue is sent in by Barbara Taylor, Sara Goodwins and Richard Hetherington. It is from the Daily Telegraph cryptic as follows: ‘Man, perhaps, blocking executive given wrong information’ (6).
MY broadcasting colleague David Callister saw the following on the Ronaldsway meteorological office website: ‘Mostly cloudy today with outbreaks of rain, some heavy at first, the rain becoming mostly dry by mid-morning.’
Dry rain? Now that’s what I call real climate change.
MY old friend Stan Clucas who lives on the rural fringes of Port Erin and is Captain of the Parish of Rushen attended my 85th birthday party deep in the urban mass of Douglas. He arrived by car and I asked him how he had found his way.
He told me: ‘Sat Nav.’
CROSSWORD: Misled.
FRANK Bond says he read with interest the story in the Manx Independent last week in which a man called Peter Marshall had complained to M&S that their so-called luxury chocolate biscuits were no more than ordinary custard creams coated in chocolate. Frank says:‘Yes, I would be discustard as well.’
Now that takes the biscuit.
PETER Warriner emails to say: ‘I have had an over-60s’ discount card at B&Q since I turned 60 years of age. I’m now 64. I used the card recently and was told I would have to replace it with a new card which commenced in 2016.
‘I noted on the back of the new card the expiry date of 12/50. Bearing in mind these cards are for over 60s I thought it very funny that I will be 99 in 2050.
‘Perhaps B&Q know something I don’t.’
FUNNIES File: The Isle of Man Courier advertised tickets for a fashion show by the boutique ‘Exclusif’ costing ‘£20 million.’
How exclusif can you get?
SILLY Sign: In a health food shop window: ‘Closed due to illness.’