AFTER the dubious delights of Storm Desmond and Storm Eva we have just had Storm Frank, which was named after my late father. Well, his name was Frank so I think that must count in his favour.
It’s not often that the name Frank crops up at all these days so I am sure he will be delighted, if he is in a position today to be pleased or anything else we understand.
He died 50 years ago at the age of 60 and we haven’t seen or heard from him since.
But if he decides to do so now I will have a lot of interesting things to tell the world.
Mind you, I think he would have preferred Hurricane Frank.
He left school at the age of 14 and immediately went off sailing deep sea as a galley boy, where he learned to cook and sailed through hurricanes all over the world.
He was also a boxer with a nice hurricane style of attack.
He left the sea when he married my mother in Liverpool in 1929 and they opened a boarding house on Queen’s Promenade in Douglas.
There he would stare out over the bay growling: ‘The Bay of Naples isn’t a patch on this one.’
The next weather assault on the list is called Storm Gertrude. Dirty Gertie? I am assured that we also had one of these in my family at one time.
JOHN Garfield has been on to tell me the Daily Mail reported that the lovely Pippa Middleton was looking forward to a goose on Christmas Day.
He says: ‘Presumably the Mail and Pippa are unaware of what being goosed is. How about a goose at Christmas? It would make a refreshing change from a kiss under the mistletoe.’
You have to admit, John, that if there is a girl who deserves to be goosed at any time it’s Pippa.
THIS week’s crossword clue has come in from Richard Hetherington. It was in the Daily Telegraph cryptic as follows: ‘Stable studies article probing series of races (8).’
Three of the usual suspects have sent in the clue to be featured next week.
In case they don’t know the phrase ‘usual suspects’ was first coined in the film ‘Casablanca’ by Claude Rains as the police chief Captain Renault when he ordered: ‘Round up the usual suspects.’
I HAVE had one of my rare emails from my former Jurby correspondent Trevor Baines saying: ‘I too am annoyed by all the major companies who feel they need a tag. Tesco’s is particularly annoying – ‘Every Little Helps.’ That means every little you give us improves our dodgy fiscal position. I prefer the Londoners’ tag “Tesco helps keep the scum out of Waitrose”.’
FOR years now I have been on the lookout for two particular Manx car registrations They are MAN1C and MAN1A.
I want to know who has them. Not to know is maddening.
CROSSWORD: Constant.
I HAVE been reminded by somebody who wishes not to be named that Manx Radio scored a notable first in its early days. It was the first local station in Britain to broadcast obituaries.
This is true enough and it led to listeners saying: ‘People are dying to get on Manx Radio.’
MY Funnies File reveals that Manx Radio world news once reported: ‘The Chinese, while not celebrating Christmas on religious terms, do go out and enjoy themselves in restaurants. In fact they make a meal of it.’
SILLY SIGN. This was outside a second-hand shop: ‘We exchange anything – bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.’