I have had a visit from Patrick Barkham, a feature writer with The Guardian based in London. He is researching a book about British islands which will include the Isle of Man and he wanted me to help him.
But I was more interested in what he thought of our island. ‘Too many cars,’ he said promptly. ‘They spoil the place.’ This from a man who lives and works in London.
I agree with my friend Patrick. The Department of Infrastructure says there are more than 70,000 cars and other motor vehicles registered in the little old Isle of Man – and they are getting in the way of each other.
They are not only being actually driven on our roads. They are also to be seen almost permanently parked on our roads, both sides often enough. Meanwhile it is estimated – by me anyway – that by the next population census there will be more cars than people in the Isle of Man.
All these things call for drastic measures and my plan is a simple one. People with big cars should be made to pay a lot more money for their petrol and this money should then be devoted to paying the petrol bills of the owners of small cars.
But which small cars?
Well, let me start by suggesting Mini One convertibles, if you get my four-wheel drift.
THIS tells us more about the export adventures of Castletown Brewery’s Oyster Stout.
It has come in from Eric Corkish of Manx Nostalgia who also has photographs of crates of the stuff being loaded on to an aircraft at Ronaldsway. (Eric says if anybody can offer anything for Manx Nostalgia he can be contacted on 452942).
THIS week’s crossword clue has come in from Sara Goodwins. It was in the Sunday Telegraph prize crossword as follows: ‘Local phrasing I had found west of the Isle of Man (5).’
DOUGLAS Town Councillor Stephen Pitts and Paul Quayle have both found an obituary and funeral announcement published in the Examiner which said: ‘Clothing for anyone attending the service is optional.’
JOHN Garfield has been on about a newspaper article in which the cabin crew of a Thomas Cook Airlines aircraft were described as ‘LGBT friendly.’ This puzzled him. He added: ‘I thought it might something similar to a BLT sandwich.’
This is something which might bite back, John.
THE Daily Telegraph named its 10 best English wines, which included ‘The Henners Brut 2010, a tasty, toasty blanc de noirs made from 56 per cent pinot noir and 54 per cent spicy pinot meunier.’
Somebody had a drop too much by the sound of it.
MY Manx Radio broadcasting colleague Ed Oldham tells me that when he started at Castle Rushen High School 20 years ago his history teacher, a woman, told the class: ‘I am going to teach her-story.’
MY Funnies File offers the information that some years ago every sheet of the toilet paper at Manx Radio bore the printed legend: ‘Not for re-sale.’ Who would have wanted to buy it?
SILLY SIGNS: This one was in a laundromat: ‘Automatic washing machine. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.’
Then what happens?
CROSSWORD: Idiom - It’s surprising how many different clues come up with this answer.
I HAVE had my first Christmas card. It’s from my old friend Albert Teare, former groundsman at Noble’s Park. He says he has just been to Noble’s Hospital and had a good MOT – ‘ Not bad for 86.’ Keep going Albert.